The Curse of the Blinking Cursor

12:46 AM

It's the curse of the blinking cursor.

Here it is, sitting innocently in the middle of the text box, waiting for me to find the words to type in so it has a point and purpose. It's never done anything to me. It just wants me to do something with it.

And the problem isn't with the cursor. It's with me, the writer. I'm the one who can't find the words to say. I'm leaving the blinking cursor to just blink away... alone and miserable. All the reasons or excuses for it don't matter. This is my fault. *sigh*

Right now, I feel a lot like the blinking cursor. Like I'm just sitting, waiting for God to type the next sentence, write the next word, in my story, and He hasn't done it yet. Has He stopped? Ah, no. But I just feel like He has - mostly because things aren't going exactly the way I imagined they would when He told me I was supposed to come back to Phoenix. Why I thought they would, I don't know. It's not like He's ever done things my way in my life before...

I do keep busy, though. Just like the cursor. While I'm waiting, I'm not sitting still. It's just the uncertainty of everything that is supposed to be coming next. I like to be in the know, so not being it is something I can barely tolerate at this point. Translation - I have a ton of questions that I feel like aren't getting answered.

And, so ironic - when I grabbed my Ipod and started listening to a random playlist, the second song ends up being Clay Walker's song "A Few Questions". Even the blinking has a purpose for my cursor, and this is one of those times where I need to just be content to blink and wait for the next chapter to unfold. Thanks, God.

Just because I don't know if you'll get why unless you see the lyrics for yourself, I'll post them here.


"A Few Questions"
-Clay Walker
(Ray Scott/Phillip Moore/Adam Wheeler)

How in this world can we put a man on the moon,
And still have a need for a place like St Jude's?
And why is one man born,
In a place where all they know is war?
An' a guy like me,
Has always been free.

An' how can two people who built a lovin' home,
Try for years an' never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holdin' tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

An' why did my cousin have to die in that crash?
A good kid, only seventeen, I still wonder 'bout that.
It seems unfair to me,
Some get the chance to chase their dreams,
An' some don't.
But what do I know?

I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

Why do I feel like you hear these prayers of mine.
When so many oughta be ahead of me in line?
When you look down on me,
Can you see the good through all the bad?
These just a few questions I have.

You Might Also Like

0 comments

Blog Archive

Search