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Showing posts from February, 2015

Attack of the Heart

I wish I could put into words what the last four months have felt like. Exhausting, frustrating, exhilarating, joyful, hopeful, fear-inducing, tear-inducing, full of peace. Mix. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I remember going through those emotions in the months after my return from the World Race, after the routine eye exam that turned my world upside down and put me through five months of tests and blood draws and doctor’s appointments. Even a spinal tap, honestly. Not understanding what (else) was going on in my body was one of the worst feelings I can describe because it was such a potent mix of exhaustion and frustration and fear and sadness. Eventually the diagnosis came, but that was almost worse than the not knowing (even though it turned out to be nothing deadly at all) because the doctor told me there wasn’t anything he could do for me unless things got worse. My vision, by the way, in case anyone was worried – calcium deposits in my left eye that cause the optic nerve to sw