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Stop (The Comparison Game)

Like many of you who've been on social media for awhile (over ten years for me), I've developed a love/hate relationship with the forum so many are now embracing.
Attribution: By Wilgengebroed on Flickr [CC BY 2.0
(], via Wikimedia Commons

I love what social media is supposed to do - connect me more easily to friends and family who are not nearby. Peek into their lives and let them peek into mine.
I hate how so many elements of it have become a distraction from that purpose.
And I hate how it aids and abets that horrible comparison game we can't seem to ever stop playing, because we inevitably find ourselves coming up short.

What I mean is - I know that if I let myself get too caught up with everything my friends and family are doing (and posting on social media), I'd feel like a failure.
I'm not married.
I have no kids.
I'm not serving as a missionary overseas.
The work that keeps a roof over my head isn't ministry.
That list goes on and on and on and on, out past the horizon beyond where anyone can see.

Sometimes, I see what's going on in my social media feeds, and I spend hours dreaming about and making plans to do more. To be more.
Sometimes I spend too much time crying over the things I'm not doing or that I haven't done.
And sometimes (more and more often all the time, honestly), I throw my hands up in the air in frustration and stop bothering.

I'm coming to the realization that my life is what it is - an odd combination of amazing adventures and yawn-inducing boredom.
And after writing posts lamenting my lack of time on top of this diatribe about the comparison game, I'm starting to think the solution to all of this is to just stop.

Stop comparing marital status and family size - because the lack of a ring does not mean there is something wrong with me, and a lack of children is not a reflection of my maturity level.
Stop comparing jobs and callings - because there is just as much of a need for people to be willing to stay and minister where they are as there is for people to jump on a plane and go somewhere to share the gospel.
And stop looking for validation in what I'm sharing with the people I've connected with on social media - because they're not always going to validate what I want them to, and it's going to crush me if I let myself depend on that validation.

Maybe it's the solution for all of us who haven't already figured it out.

Until next time,


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