Skip to main content

Stop (The Comparison Game)

Like many of you who've been on social media for awhile (over ten years for me), I've developed a love/hate relationship with the forum so many are now embracing.
Attribution: By Wilgengebroed on Flickr [CC BY 2.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

I love what social media is supposed to do - connect me more easily to friends and family who are not nearby. Peek into their lives and let them peek into mine.
I hate how so many elements of it have become a distraction from that purpose.
And I hate how it aids and abets that horrible comparison game we can't seem to ever stop playing, because we inevitably find ourselves coming up short.

What I mean is - I know that if I let myself get too caught up with everything my friends and family are doing (and posting on social media), I'd feel like a failure.
I'm not married.
I have no kids.
I'm not serving as a missionary overseas.
The work that keeps a roof over my head isn't ministry.
That list goes on and on and on and on, out past the horizon beyond where anyone can see.

Sometimes, I see what's going on in my social media feeds, and I spend hours dreaming about and making plans to do more. To be more.
Sometimes I spend too much time crying over the things I'm not doing or that I haven't done.
And sometimes (more and more often all the time, honestly), I throw my hands up in the air in frustration and stop bothering.

I'm coming to the realization that my life is what it is - an odd combination of amazing adventures and yawn-inducing boredom.
And after writing posts lamenting my lack of time on top of this diatribe about the comparison game, I'm starting to think the solution to all of this is to just stop.

Stop comparing marital status and family size - because the lack of a ring does not mean there is something wrong with me, and a lack of children is not a reflection of my maturity level.
Stop comparing jobs and callings - because there is just as much of a need for people to be willing to stay and minister where they are as there is for people to jump on a plane and go somewhere to share the gospel.
And stop looking for validation in what I'm sharing with the people I've connected with on social media - because they're not always going to validate what I want them to, and it's going to crush me if I let myself depend on that validation.

Maybe it's the solution for all of us who haven't already figured it out.


Until next time,
Cat
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Metaphors: Candles

I've recently fallen in love with candles. Since coming home from the World Race , I've bought at least one a month. My favorite candles are the ones that come in glass jars - because when they burn out, I can clean the remaining wax out and put the jars to other uses. Right now,  that means they get cleaned out and packed away in anticipation of my move to Flagstaff. But as I was lighting one tonight (vanilla spice... Thanksgiving smells? Yes, please!), I saw a metaphor for writing flickering away in the flame licking at the wick and melting the wax. I suppose it could be a metaphor for life in general, but since the theme of this blog is writing... Well, you do the math.
Post a Comment
Read more

[Five Minute Friday] Purpose

Fiber bars, strewn along the side of the road. There had to be at least a dozen of them, still in their wrappers and completely unopened. No box in sight. Really? That's about the reaction my younger sister and I had when we stumbled on them on our early morning run. Really? along with disgusted sighs about the wastefulness of it. These were the expensive ones, not a generic store brand that kind of tastes and kind of looks the same sometimes. So, when we weren't keeping an eye out for their box, we speculated about what had happened. And wondered how many more we were going to see before the end of our run. "Maybe they took one bite and thought they were gross," my sister said. "So they threw them out because they didn't want them anymore." I let out one of those disgusted sighs and nodded along with her theory. "Yeah, or they got in a huge fight, and threw them out in a fit of rage." "That's a possibility." And
9 comments
Read more

How to Make Sure Your Book Review Request Does NOT Get Deleted

I've been hesitant to write this post. That is due, in large part, to how angry I get some days after reading book review requests. I curse, I rant, I snark. My cat will tell you it's not a pretty sight. But I also feel like this is a good opportunity to talk about what it is that makes me feel those feelings AND how to not stir them up. I'm not the only reviewer that gets frustrated when I see certain things in my emails from authors looking for a review. And I know I'm not the only one who gets triggered enough to ignore or delete those messages. I never feel good about doing it. It's just that I'm hitting the proverbial wall here and I want to hit it a little less often. So if you're an author looking for loving advice on how to approach reviewers (especially this one), read on. Review Requests I Always  Delete Before I get into what to do, I wanted to take a minute to look at what not to do (and how I handle it). Want to know what immedi
2 comments
Read more