When the Words Won't Come

There's a blog post I've been trying to write for months now, and if you've been on this site in the last six months then you likely have a couple of ideas about which one it is. Maybe it's:

The one where I tell you what happened the day of the fire from my perspective
The one with the updates on where everyone/everything is and how they/it are now
The one where I write about how to get through the aftermath of a house fire

Or maybe it's something else and I just haven’t thought of it yet. *shrug*

For all the newcomers (or those of you who just haven't been in the loop), well… the summarized version of what happened is that my parents' home burned down in a brush fire six months ago. I was temporarily displaced by that fire as well, and most of my time and energy since had been invested in dealing with and starting to heal from that trauma alongside my family.

I've got drafts sitting on the back end of the site waiting to see the light of day for the list above, but at a certain point I just can't go any further in writing them. The words swirl around in my brain, but it's like they won't give me permission to use pen and paper or keyboard and computer to release them. They disappear when I get too close. Almost everything writing-related (including this blog) is on hold for me at the moment.

And I wish it were just the written word, but it’s not. It happens in conversations too. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I've had to admit out loud that I'm struggling to find words since the fire.

Some things just cut too deep, I guess.

Right now, there are a lot of things I'm working through and thinking through that I wish I knew how to express. I also wish I could make promises about when I'll get back to consistent posts - here as well as on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram - but I can't promise anything right now.

I do want to get back to something approaching regularly scheduled programming at some point. I just need some more time to figure out what that looks like for me.

What I can tell you is that exactly six months ago today, during the middle of the day (same time of day as I am writing this now), I was sitting down to finish up a post for this site that was scheduled to go up the next day. It seems appropriate to be working on a post now that talks a little bit about where I'm at, even if I feel like what I'm writing is a jumbled mess at the moment and I don't know when the next post after this one will be.

Another thing I can tell you is that I am profoundly grateful for both the immediate and continued love and support of friends, family and people in the community around us. There's nothing easy about what we've been going through, but the burden feels lighter because of you.

Love all of you, and I'll catch you on the next post.
- Cat

Metaphors: Candles

I've recently fallen in love with candles. Since coming home from the World Race , I've bought at least one a month. My favorite candles are the ones that come in glass jars - because when they burn out, I can clean the remaining wax out and put the jars to other uses. Right now, that means they get cleaned out and packed away in anticipation of my move to Flagstaff. But as I was lighting one tonight (vanilla spice... Thanksgiving smells? Yes, please!), I saw a metaphor for writing flickering away in the flame licking at the wick and melting the wax. I suppose it could be a metaphor for life in general, but since the theme of this blog is writing... Well, you do the math.

[Five Minute Friday] Purpose

Fiber bars, strewn along the side of the road. There had to be at least a dozen of them, still in their wrappers and completely unopened. No box in sight. Really? That's about the reaction my younger sister and I had when we stumbled on them on our early morning run. Really? along with disgusted sighs about the wastefulness of it. These were the expensive ones, not a generic store brand that kind of tastes and kind of looks the same sometimes. So, when we weren't keeping an eye out for their box, we speculated about what had happened. And wondered how many more we were going to see before the end of our run. "Maybe they took one bite and thought they were gross," my sister said. "So they threw them out because they didn't want them anymore." I let out one of those disgusted sighs and nodded along with her theory. "Yeah, or they got in a huge fight, and threw them out in a fit of rage." "That's a possibility." And...

How to Make Sure Your Book Review Request Does NOT Get Deleted

I've been hesitant to write this post. That is due, in large part, to how angry I get some days after reading book review requests. I curse, I rant, I snark. My cat will tell you it's not a pretty sight. But I also feel like this is a good opportunity to talk about what it is that makes me feel those feelings AND how to not stir them up. I'm not the only reviewer that gets frustrated when I see certain things in my emails from authors looking for a review. And I know I'm not the only one who gets triggered enough to ignore or delete those messages. I never feel good about doing it. It's just that I'm hitting the proverbial wall here and I want to hit it a little less often. So if you're an author looking for loving advice on how to approach reviewers (especially this one), read on. Review Requests I Always Delete Before I get into what to do, I wanted to take a minute to look at what not to do (and how I handle it). Want to know what immedi...

Cat Pollock Writes

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